And Now, A Joke:

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.

Murphy said ‘Hang on, I have an idea.

He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage. 

Shamus said, “Are you crazy?  Now we don’t have any money left at all!!”

To which Murphy replied, “Don’t worry, just follow me.” 

They proceeded to go into the pub, where Murphy ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said to Murphy, “Now you’ve lost it.  Do you know how much trouble we’re going to be in?  We haven’t got any money!”

Murphy replied with a smile, “Don’t worry, just enjoy yer drinks.  I’ve got a plan. 

They downed their drinks, and Murphy said, “Ok, I’ll stick the sausage through my zipper  and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth.”

The bartender, of course, noticed them and promptly threw them out of the pub.  The men, seeing that they’ve got something here, continued this, going to pub after pub getting more and more drunk for free. 

At the tenth pub Shamus said, “Murphy, I don’t think I can do any more of this.  I’m drunk and my knees are killing me.”

To which Shamus replied, “How do you think I feel?  I lost the sausage after the third pub!”

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One thought on “And Now, A Joke:

  1. Good joke!

    Okay, I have one. This one isn’t a gay joke, and it may be on the gross side.

    Here goes. Joe is sitting at the bar and makes a bet with ten other patrons. He takes a finished beer can and puts it on a table about 20 feet away, and goes back to his seat at the bar. He bets each of the ten other patrons $50 that he can urinate into the beer can without missing. Of course, the patrons agree to the bet.

    After a few more beers, Joe tells the crowd that he’s ready. So he starts to urinate, and isn’t even close. In fact, he urinates all over the place, including on the other patrons. So the other patrons start laughing and cheering on the fact they won their easy fifty bucks each. The bartender just shakes his head in disbelief of what he just saw.

    Joe finally finishes up, and then begins to pay up. One of the patrons realizes that Joe didn’t appear to be disappointed about losing all this money.

    Patron: How can you be so happy about losing $500?
    Joe: Actually, I won $500.
    Patron: Huh? How’s that?
    Joe: Because beforehand, I bet the bartender $1000 that within two hours, I’m going to piss all over you guys, and you’ll be laughing and cheering while I do it.

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