Watch Out For Those Double-A Batteries

Watch this video

Can someone please slap the stupid off that cop?  “Attempted assault?!?!” “Whenever you’re dealing with electricity,” blah blah blah. 

From an “AA” battery in a disposable camera?  Are you shitting me?  Where is Alan Funt hiding?  Am I on camera? 

People, the only way you’re going to be hurt by a single “AA” battery is if I peg it at your face as hard as I can.  Let’s get real.  Back in my day (yeah, the 80’s, I’m sooooo ancient) the teacher would’ve just taken the camera away and said to smarten up.  They may have even been impressed by my inquisitiveness as to the functionality of the electronics involved. 

Granted, there are definitely situations where tasers are the way to go.  Frankly I think all Bank Tellers should be armed with them, as well as EMT’s. 

To borrow a phrase from Seth&Amy, “I mean, really.”  Look at another situation just last week where an 11 year old girl was tasered in a classroom.  Where the hell has our sense of “good judgement” gone?  If we’d let the teachers enforce some discipline like the good old nuns and their rulers used to do, calling the cops on an 11 year old wouldn’t be necessary. 

One of these days some kid is going to go to school, play Chicken Little and say the sky is falling, and get accused of terrorist acts, as in the following dramatization:  

“I couldn’t stop looking up,” said little Maggie Jones.  “The thought of all that sky falling down on me at once . . . it was horrifying.  I just know I’ll have nightmares where I’m drowning in blue forever!”

Ian Laplante couldn’t agree more; “We didn’t know what he was talking about!  Junior Little came in the classroom, I saw him myself, waving his arms and screaming, ‘the sky is falling, the sky is falling!’ Kids were scrambling over each other left and right trying to find cover.  It was a madhouse.  A MADHOUSE!!!”

Police Chief Iman Idiot gave a brief statement to the press following the incident: “At no time was there any danger of the sky actually falling, however, we took this threat seriously, as we take all threats to the welfare of our children and our community.  A task force has been formed to study the possibility of the sky falling in the future, and a temporary dome will be placed over the city as a precaution.  We have no further comments at this time.”

Funny, huh?  And just as realistic as harm from an “AA” battery.

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