Words Fail Me

I was initially searching for other reactions to last night’s Big Brother 8 premiere, other than Matt’s, and came across this site calling for an Action Alert because, you guessed it, CBS is promotin’ the Homos again.  And then I found what else is posted on that appalling site. 

Let me clear my throat.  *Ahem* 

You won’t find many references to abortion on my site.  I tend to think that as a gay man I’m never going to need one, nor will I ever get a woman pregnant, so I should probably just shut up about it.  Unlike many of my friends on the internet, I do not believe that gay rights and abortion rights are inextricably intertwined.  Now, I should probably say right up front that I’m troubled by what I personally consider the overuse of abortion in this country, and I personally have known (not in the biblical sense) women who have used abortion as a form of birth control.  I also know that for many women it is the only option for a number of reasons, each as valid as the next.  I would never, ever, ever, ever dream of telling someone that they must carry the seed of their rapist inside them.  (Please, I know there are other reasons–that’s just one example.) 

HOW-FUCKING-EVER, I have just found a post so distressing, so appalling, so blissfully ignorant that I cannot believe the people who posted it claim to be Christians.  What a sad day indeed. 

Just LOOK at this graphic:


Baptists for Brownback, at least on the site I linked above, wish for us to use the euphemism U.S.E. (unplanned sexual event) not RAPE.  I’m sorry, but if Norm & I both get home at the same time and are in the mood, THAT’S an “unplanned sexual event.”  RAPE is RAPE.  Mary being pregnant with Christ, now THAT’S an “unplanned sexual event.”  RAPE IS RAPE, you fools. 

I cannot believe that a group that should be tending to the spiritual counsel of young women–and that’s something churches should help with, IMHO–would have the audacity to tell a young woman who has just been raped that she should “Praise Him for this Blessing” in her life.  Are you fucking kidding me? 

Funny, but I don’t see these same people “Praising Him for this Blessing” when their homes are wiped out by hurricanes.  Didn’t Jesus advocate that the meek and poor would inherit the earth?  That it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God?  Then they should be “Praising Him” for wiping out their homes and possessions, for now they can enter more easily. 

The only good thing about all of this nonsense is the quality of the comments these asswipes have received–which I now have to type in because I can’t “select and copy” them for some UNGODLY reason. 

On second thought, just go read the comments yourself.  I know it’ll up their traffic a bit, but they are just too long and too rich to wait for a later post. 

And while some of the commenters there do illustrate what you and I may see as the laughability of the entire concept, the site’s author does write that:

In July we will be hosting our very first Freedom Toast Breakfast to officially launch the U.S.E. Campaign.  We are pleased to announce that so far there are 46 other Baptist churches in the Southeast committed to hosting a similar event. (emphasis mine)

Now try not to throw up. 


12 thoughts on “Words Fail Me

  1. Well, if not satire (and I’m still leaning towards that) then some sort of decoy site to get folks all hepped up about obviously outlandish statements and then do something with their troll comments. Have you seen the “Legal Statement”?

    Yeah, definitely leaning towards very dry, very black satire.

  2. Jamie, I’m thinking of writing a memo to these folks:

    “Thank you for bringing us back to the teachings of Jesus (peace be upon him), Baptists For Brownback. I’ve been concerned about these feminists’ campaign against Unplanned Sexual Events for years. After all, your Holy Bible – and our Holy Koran – clearly states that women are the property of their fathers and, upon marriage, their husbands.

    Because of your valiant efforts, Americans can be just as pious and virtuous as Hamas or Hezbollah. Like your wonderful organization, these are noble groups that are defending the sacred right of the religious to treat whores as we please.

    I have no doubt that with the help of organizations like yours, we will bring our faiths closer together. May Allah continue to bless you and give you the strength to defend His word against the secularist infidels.

    Your friend and enthusiastic support, Mahmoud.”

  3. QJ, after looking at the rest of the site, I see what you’re saying.

    But if it is satire, it maybe too subtle for many of the blog’s own readers. To say nothing of those of us who come across one or two linked stories. Satire only works when the audience knows that it is lampooning something/someone.

  4. Yeah, if it’s satire, it’s way past Jonathan Swift dry to the point of defeating satire. The Unplanned Sexual Event, or USE (and isn’t that a wickedly appropriate acronym), is sort of funny in its outrageousness, which is the point of satire, but a lot of the rest of the site? Questionable.

    The other option is it may be similar to the hoax site http://www.HelpMyBabyLive.com, which claims to demand $50,000 in three months or a “young couple” will supposedly abort their baby. If they get the $50,000, they keep the baby, otherwise they abort the baby and donate all raised money to an anti-choice charity. Needless to say, the blogosphere wasn’t having this and snopes.com managed to track the email address of the PayPal account to one Matthew Schiros. Schiros also seemed to run a far-right wing blog http://www.radiofreeroider.com, which has since gone down. It was a pretty neat little scam. Either the money came in and “the baby lived” (meaning some anti-choice charity got a $50,000+ payday) or it didn’t and the charity still made money, just not as much.

    I’m still betting on satire, though. If you look at the comments on the site, specifically in the “About” section, one comes from a “Pastor Tobin Maker” with a link to the site http://www.stopmyabortion.blogspot.com/
    with pictures of a supposedly aborted fetus…from last October. In response to Pastor Tobin’s comment, one not only sees a reference to Landover Baptist, frankly one of the funniest religious satire sites out there, but also an acknowledgment by the owner of the site.

    So yes, it’s satire in the same vein as Betty Bowers, although much, much, MUCH drier.

  5. You may think that calling us names, spreading rumors about us and mocking our beliefs makes you feel important. Well, it doesn’t.

    What you are doing is persecuting Christians (Republican-Baptists) and it is making the Lord very, very angry. If I were you I wouldn’t walk on any golf courses because Jesus is pointing His finger at you. Lightening bolts are going to come from down from Heaven and you won’t have anywhere to hide!

  6. I suppose it’s all a question of which finger Jesus is pointing with, really. He might just be giving you a Fonzie thumbs up and a cosmic “Heeeeeey”.

    Definitely satire. Definitely.

  7. We seem to be finding all the fun-est “religiopaths” associated with Brown[back], as at that atrocious “Blogs4Brownback” site, too (sorry, I refuse to link it, damn their SEO). Rape never happens to their daughters, sisters, wives, or mothers, despite the fact that 1 in 4 American women experience an unwanted sexual assault (USA?) at some time in their lives. Neocon nitwits live in a fantasy world. Even Jesus would slap them, if he bothered dropping back by again.

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