First I’d like to present to you the only truly worthy performance from last night. If you ever needed proof that the meek shall inherit the earth, here it is. And I present it up front because following the clip I have an abundance of bitchery to dish out for the rest of them.
After a disappointing night by the girls, with the notable exceptions of Melinda Doolittle and Gina Glockson (I was so sadly disappointed by Lakisha’s Midnight Train to Georgia), I’m going to make some hedged bets at who’s going home tonight. (I should also add that I was a little scared at first but pleasantly surprised by Sabrina’s attempt at a Whitney song. If she’d not had a few warbly pitches here and there I’d have liked it much, much more.)
I’ll try not to be quite as sarcastic as Simon Cowell’s “happy birthday in November, Mum,” but you get no guarantees. Here goes:
For the men, I think it’s probably two of these three:
- Phil Stacey–sadly, this navy man missed the boat when it came to performing Tuesday night. There was nothing special there, and it was almost painful to watch him perform. I don’t think his ship has come in, votewise.
- Nick Pedro–not only was his singing mediocre at best, his dedication lacked any convincing spark. And not looking at his girlfriend once while singing “to her” probably convinced the female population that he’s just a playa.
- Sanjay Malakar–seems like a really, really nice, sincere kid. Which means he has no place in Hollywood whatsoever. That, and he sang so softly that the people old enough to relate to the song he chose probably didn’t have their Beltones turned up enough to hear him! And is it just me, or does this picture look like a cross between MJ and ET?
So much for not being an ass like Simon. (Which reminds me, what was with his “fashion” advice last night? Isn’t HE the one constantly saying “it’s a SINGING competition, people?”)
Now, on to the women:
- Leslie Hunt–I hesitated for a few moments to be harsh on the girl because she does live with Lupus. But (Ready? Two Simon Cowell expressions in a row: ) it is a singing competition, so . . . What . . .the hell . . . was that? “Scatting,” dear girl, at least in the musical world, has nothing to do with the term “scatological.” So why on earth did you shit all over a great Michael Bublé song? Bad Toad.
- Antonella Barba–When your pitch is unsteady and you have a hard time singing the music, especially such a well known song as Celine’s greatest hit, it’s generally a bad idea to then add to the misery by jumping ugly on the judges. And now, it turns out, there are dirty pictures of her on the internet. Quelle surprise! Not.
- Alaina Alexander–There’s nothing I can say here that’s meaner than her abuse of that song. My cats were crying at the end. I think it’s because they were glad she was finished.