As referenced in the Boston Legal clip below, the most reverend (snark) Ted Haggard admitted to having seriously Ungodly relations involving a meth/coke whore male prostitute (who, upon personally visiting the good reverend Haggard’s church, was welcomed by the congregation for revealing the pink elephant in their midst). Now, after only three weeks of Serious Self Reflection, Haggard has emerged “convinced” that he’s a heterosexual, according to the Advocate:
After undergoing three weeks of therapy, Haggard emerged convinced that he was not gay, the Reverend Tim Ralph, one of the ex-preacher’s spiritual overseers, was quoted as telling the Denver Post newspaper. “He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing,” Ralph said.
You know, I swear my cat thinks he’s a dog. He plays with the dogs, sleeps with them, tries to fetch, eats of their dish. He’s convinced himself that he’s a dog. Luckily, those of us not living in delusion know he’s a cat, no matter what he’s convinced himself of.
Funny, though. If such “therapy” actually worked, you’d think one would come out “certain” of their heterosexuality, not “convinced.”